When I’m going through difficult times, whether it’s family, friends, work, relationships etc., I resort to a lot of solo coping mechanisms. Usually once I sleep through it, the next day I feel a lot better. It’s weird, but sleep will do a lot of good. At least it gets the bulk of the emotion reduced. Then I’m left with my thoughts, and usually it drags me back into an emotional state I don’t want to be in. So I turn to happy, upbeat music that will put me in a better mood. I watch Korean variety shows which make me laugh.
When I want to face the issues, I’ll write most often or express myself through the song selections I make here sometimes. I also will think and reflect even though it can be painful. Put my thoughts together and look deep into the root of the problem. If it’s an issue involving someone else, I’ll eventually confront the other person and talk it through, but only after much thought and preparation for what I need to say.
Sometimes, I’ll drink. Usually it’ll be the first night before I’ve slept since I still have all that emotion pent up inside.
But with all this, yes, I do feel a little better, and I do move on with time, but there’s still a void I cannot fill with all the things “I” can do. I need to let go.
Oh my goodness, I heard this song on the radio and I had to Shazam it. It was a familiar song that I had first heard of in this sad Korean MV set I had borrowed from the library many, many years ago. Very catchy song, but the MV was so ridiculous it stayed with me.
Would you understand if I played you a song to show you how I feel right now? How can the melody, lyrics, and everything about this song be perfect for right now? The feeling, the mood… how can it all be so perfect?
It’s times like these when I wish we were still talking. To be able to unload my burdens so they could be carried away by the wind. You would comfort the stress and helplessness out of me by helping me forget. When I want to escape the inescapable… But you aren’t here, and we aren’t talking. Yet, I’m still waiting.
…and the Sky ordered for an umbrella parade for the day and all the people begrudgingly dug out their umbrellas from their closets and held them over their heads. When the Sky saw all their gloomy faces, he scolded them, “You want Spring weather but won’t stand for the rain that brings it?”
Th people hung their heads, but quickly retorted, “Why can’t you let it rain at night when we are sleeping?”
“You can’t demand Spring without rain, just as you can’t demand good without knowing the bad. And why not rain at night? Well that’s simply because you aren’t in control, I am.” And the Sky left the people and let the clouds take over.